UN Plane Shot Down In Texas!

Reported June 30, 1997
Romoland, Texas

It is my unfortunate duty to inform everbody that Bootros-Bootros Gali is not running the UN anymore. I repeat--is not running the UN anymore. My cousin Liberty told me they got this new man in charge.

Here is a photo of a UN aircraft shot down Thursday or Friday of last week by Romoland Ground Forces. I don't know what in the hell kinda airplane it is, but it will be auctioned off out at the rodeo grounds next week or the week after that.

Also, here is a secret UN dispatch I found in the crashed airplane which I negated to include in my last message.

"Kofi Annan, the seventh Secretary-General of the United Nations who was Under-Secretary General for Peace-keeping Operations at the time of his appointment, brings to the position a wealth of experience and expertise gained through more than three decades of service with the world Organization. A national of Ghana who is fluent in English, French and several African languages, he was appointed on 17 December by the General Assembly to serve a term of office from 1 January 1997 through 31 December 2001."

I don't know where Ghana is but I reckon what happened was them UN boys seen they was fightin a losing battle against our Gallant Texans, and other Americans, and they had'em a coupe de'ville and throwed out Bootros and put this old Kofi in charge to talk peace.

Well, I say WE invade THEM! They'll all be in that UN building in New York City workin on some kinda treaty--or a new, disparate re-invasion scheme like that movie The Battle of the Bulge where the Germans launch this sneak attack at Christmas but Henry Fonda sees'em in his airplane and kills'em all with rolling barrels of burning gasoline. I done talked it over with the boys down at the shop and we're gonna get a possee together and make a run up to New York City and kick their ass.

Anybody wants to go better get ready. We only got two good trucks and mine so if you go with us you gotta ride in back. Anybody out there wanta to whip these UN boys, just meet us in New York City in a few weeks. We'll be waitin at Denny's.

Good luck men.

Jimmy Dean Whatley
Romoland Expeditionary Forces
Romoland, Texas
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