Elite German Amphibious Commando Unit Trains At Idaho Reservoir!

Reported October 4, 1997
Lucky Peak, ID USA

I went boating at the Lucky Peak Reservoir near my hometown of Boise last week. I was enjoying the Summer day with friends from work doing a little boating and water skiing. I was driving the boat when I spotted something fairly unusual for Boise -- an elite German amphibious commando unit.

The driver was more worried about the fit of his Euro-style sunglasses than his adherence to American boat safety regulations.

The commandos probably passed as "locals" to most of my fellow boaters, but I noticed a couple of strange things that tipped me off. First, the driver of the boat had obviously not driven a water craft before. He was more worried about his Euro-style sunglasses than adhering to American boat safety regulations. Also, they were using the boat to pull commandos under the water [click here for picture] rather than the traditional skiing method. I suspect that this was probably advanced training for a mission involving the demolition of American pleasure craft. This would be a huge blow to the morale of water-loving Americans, and would be very strategic in the first stage of the UN invasion of the states.

We decided that it was our duty to pull our boat closer to them to get a better look. The boat looked like a typical American boat, except for the fact that the identification numbers on the side seemed to freshly painted. Also, they were not playing any country music. Instead, they were playing that trendy, alternative, Euro-type music very loudly.

We greeted them warmly and they seemed a bit stand-offish. I offered them one of our Lite beers and their driver declined in a Euro-accented voice , saying that they had vast quantities of "regular" beer. I had heard that Europeans did not like American light beer, and so I had a pretty good idea that they weren't from the area.

We then asked the driver where he was from, and he replied "Germany". I then decided it was time to ask the tough questions, and so I inquired as to why he was in the area. He answered that he was employed as an "intern" with a local international company doing translation work. What a cover!

I asked him if he had ever served in the his homeland's army, and he said "yes as a cook". He went on to say that he was in charge of making a type of biscuit that the army called "tank biscuits". I was very impressed with how well the UN had trained these men -- a less-educated person might have believed this story! Coincidentally, I had just watched the movie Under Siege where Steven Seagal plays the part of a highly-trained Navy SEAL pretending to be a cook on a battleship. In the movie, this "cook" proceeds to save his ship and the free world by eliminating an entire terrorist unit.

We knew that this UN unit had us outnumbered when you took into account the large number of frogmen that they could have had under the water. So, we decided to return to the boat ramp so that we could report the incident. As we pulled away from the UN war boat, the driver yelled something like "I love American footza" and sped away quickly. We have no idea what he meant.

Kyle K.
E-Mail

Do you have questions, comments, or additional information? Take it to the U.N.I.T. discussion group...

[ Browse Reports | About Us | Talk ]
[ Join Us | Comments & Suggestions ]