Oregonians Capture UN Train, Shoot Down UN Helicopters!

Reported August 10, 1997
Eastern Oregon, USA

This morning I had the stark pleasure of being able to report to HQ an almost impossible event. While on board the current hijacked former UN train, now headed East, captained by Nivek and his blood thirsty crew of former cowboys, potato processing mechanics, a few good farmers, and two ex-UN "dansin-gihrlz", I witnessed the downing of not just one, but two UN Russian manufactured attack helicopters.

As the morning started to rise, coffee was being made in the extant luxury of the UN Commanders "Liberty" car, fresh donuts were being distributed to the former Law Enforcement officers (first) and then on to the rest of the Krew. Ever so quickly one of the girls spotted movement in the still dark West approach and snap shot her SA-7, which ruined the "facilities" of the "Liberty". As the alarm sounded, the anti-air asset battery now placed one the rear flatcar sprang into action. Unfortunately, the lack of discipline and fire control made this incursion by the UN fliers a nightmare. With Nivek on top of the "Liberty' shooting a multi-barreled machine gun, and most of the hand held anti-air missals up, there wasn't a chance in Hell for those choopers to excape. After incident recap shows that thirty-seven hand held, sixteen flatcar mounted, and about 10,000 rounds of the UN 12.7mm m/g ammo were used in this victory over the OPFOR.

Nivek showed this correspondent the seemingly and astonishing amount of armraments stored in the large white painted "Red Cross" car. Quote from Nivek "WHHHOOO WEEEE! Weuns kin nowe out thatnthere heet to them Ole UN boyies!" He also stated in part that in the advance towards resuplly of UNIT/Romoland and San Antone, he was going to deliver up "ole Butros" when and if the Task Force Seattle group can crask into Bill Gates estate.

This correspondent then overheard a flash traffic message from Task Force Seattle. Message as follows:

[Task Force Seattle]...rebuffed in Issaquah, too much traffic on I-90 for our boys to bear! Can't even get close to the jump-off site according to mission commander. Looks as tho our men will be stranded in the Wicked Socialist State of Olympic until rescue is affected.

For as much hullaballo as Nivek is making with his capture of, and distributing now forbidden comsumer goods, the might of the UN OPFOR seems to go on unabated. Any start seems to be a good one. "Butros-Butros" is pictured on the door to the ruined facilities on the "Liberty" car. Seems Nivek and Krew give a vote to the UN quite often!!

Lost on a railway track in the Great Desert Basin,

Codename BoClonka
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