Romoland Volunteers Plan Plutonium Heist!

Reported November 11, 1997
Romoland, TX USA

To All UNIT Units:

This is Col. Whatley. LOOK OUT! We have unerthed a feendish UN-NOW-NWO-CFL-USA INC.-Trayterous plot to slip giant land minds on YOUR LOCAL HIWAY--these minds is disgised as ROAD HAZARDS as shown in the picture--it is so clevur! Knowin that true patriuts enjoy rammin a few barrels on the way to the shop, or hell jest for kicks y'know, they figger to assassassault us, blow our dadgum butts over the dang litepoles! Till we kin git all these land minds diffused and turned to the good (eg. blastin UN coke & candy machines), don't be hittin'em no more!

In even more sundry news, we have token delivry on Nivek's shipmunt of 24 weelers (COD paid with UNIT decal funny-munny haw haw). Purty gude veehikles, bin drankin Lone Star Virgin Vat Beer (thanks fer kudzu beer Nivek but it tast jest like puke) and breakin in these 24 weelers all round town. Mike's T&A hotrod runs purty gude too, had the Romo City Cops try'an catch me, couldn't do it. Here's some photo-ops frum todays fun. The boys relly like how them 24 weelers spew fire--might be useful for barbekew I reckon.

First thang we shall surpise attack is this local-yokel plootoniumm depot, SKAM-TEX --thank it's somewheres round Amarillo--wont be hard'ta find glows in the dark etc. Here is the slick plan--disguised as big rig convoy we surround the place, say we gotta duliver top sekret stuff, like papar shredders, roll on in, whup the gaurds & load the plootoniumm in trailers and lite out. Then we's gone skramble around everwhichaway jest like Cannonball Run, get drunk & go on to FEO whar wont nobody susspect us to be. Hang out with the Nivek boys, eat stakes, fight battles, chase wimmens, the normal lifespan of a UNIT warrier. Oh yeh, top sekret! Dont tell noboddy!

Anybody wont some plootoniumm? Gonna be quite a few tons, hot as hell boys! We gonna convert all these new vehicles to NU-CLEAR power, wont need no refills fer a hunnerd years, or there bouts. Probly be a few barruls left over.

T-minus 5:17 pm Today central back-up time--carry on boys.

Col. JDW

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