UN Commander Reveals Invasion Strategy

Posted December 6, 1996

Your pathetic internet site is too little, too late. We occupy the entire northern border of your country. Soon our forces will pour forth from their hiding places in local Wal-Marts, US Post Office warehouses, and abandoned missile silos.

Your women will become subject to our whims, while you toil in the dirt to fill the plates of your masters!

As soon as your President replaces those cabinet members who learned too much he will give the order for invasion. Our French women control him like a little dog with their beguiling charms and mountains of cocaine. Prepare for enslavement capitalist pig-dogs!

Capt. Joshua Ziemer
Commander, UN Occupation Forces
23rd Armored Division, Company C
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